The point of eliciting values is to find out what the person you desire to seduce wants in and from a partner and then to become that person of her or his dreams by expressing desired values.

It is good to distinguish here between the form and the essence. The "form" relates to the actual physical thing, while the "essence" relates to the feelings. The reason that people desire things is because they believe that those things will give them the desired feelings. So, if the person you're trying to seduce begins to enumerate what she wants in terms of tangible things you have no way of providing, it's up to you to discover what does she really want, what does she believe that those things will ultimately give you, what is it that she desires to experience and also what are her priorities.

Some examples of values are feelings of safety, protection, freedom, excitement, honesty, respect, kindness, love, etc.

These values, being intangible (in NLP such words are called "nominalizations"), mean different things to different people, so you also need to find out how will she know when those values have been met. One of the best ways to find out by asking her to describe to you a time when she has experienced such value (quality).

You : So, what is important to you in a guy? She : Well I like big and strong guys. You : And when you are with a big and strong guy, how does that make you feel? (or, What does that allow you to experience?) H: Well it makes me feel safe and protected.

And now if you're not big and strong, you may want to find out if there was a time when she was with a person who was not big and strong and she still felt safe and protected. You may also move onto other values that are important to her, which are easy for you to fulfill, while at the same time discovering other ways of making her feel safe and protected without the necessity of your being big and strong. Maybe you're not so big and strong, but are highly skilled in martial arts or may suggest you both take martial arts classes.

The essence, the feelings the person is after, are also called "desired states" - states that the person desires to experience, in this case, when around the other person. You can look at them as "doorways" leading to YOUR desired outcome with this person.

Each person has an inner "strategy", consisting of a set of desired states - look upon them as doors - set in a specific sequence, which once you unlock, open the way for you to get your desired hidden treasure.

Opening and passing through few initial doors may land you only in a "good friend" position, so if you want to go further, you have to be able to uncover not only her values, but also her strategy - what has to happen and in what order so you get your reward as fast as possible.

Now, that you've found out what the person you're seducing desires in a partner, become that dream person to the best of your ability, while maintaining your integrity and being true to yourself. There's no point in trying to turn yourself into something that you're not and there's no point in forcing yourself to do something that doesn't make you feel good - there are people out there with very exotic interests which you may or may not share.

Asking questions relating to person's values will also differentiate you from the majority of other suitors because you'll demonstrate a genuine interest to really get to know this person - instead of serving her with outworn pick-up lines. When you ask people questions that get them to probe into their depths and open themselves to you, people begin to feel closer to you as they may have revealed to you bits and pieces about themselves that they may not have even shared with other people before, bits and pieces of their most intimate selves.

What selling and seducing have in common is that all people have desires and it's up to you to uncover what these desires are and to fulfill them.

You can use hypnotic language patterns to fulfill the need the person has by having the person imagine her heartfelt desires fulfilled by you. You may even ask the person to describe times when she has felt these desires fulfilled in some way and anchor them to yourself through voice, gesture, touch, facial expression, etc.

Sample Questions To Elicit Values:

• What is really important for you in your life?
• What is really important for you in a relationship?
• What is really important for you in a person you'd like to date?
• What qualities are important for you in people you go out with?
• How do you decide if to go out with someone?
• What makes you feel good about yourself?
• What makes you feel good when you are on a date?
• What would you like to experience with a guy?
• How would you describe an ideal relationships?
• How would you describe an ideal guy you'd like to go out with?